"Oh my God! He was so hot, he just looked at me and I orgasmed"
-Lica
Me: "I love your bifocals."
Ben Franklin (in a parade): "I like your sunglasses."
"Even on the day you were born, you looked around like 'Yeah, I could improve this.'"
-My Grandma (about me)
"I think the ice is more frozen at home."
-My sister, Sara, on why the ice melts faster in Cancun
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